Cobalt Paladin: Year Two (Part 2)

Continued from Cobalt Paladin: Year Two (Part 1)

Event 3:
During year two of my entrepreneurial venture, there were always thoughts of quitting. It was especially disheartening when a competitor gets funding and another competitor has huge financial backing. I always wondered then, "What chances do I have?"

It was during this time that a very good friend of mine, M, called from Kuala Lumpur to ask me some techincal stuff about web design, hosting, e-commerce, database designs etc. As she was a very good friend, I volunteered that if she needs me to go Kuala Lumpur to sit-in some meetings she has with her vendors, I'll be glad to oblige.

Weekends were important for my wife and I, due to our work schedules, like most couples, the only time we can spend together was during the weekends. However, during one of the weekends, I left my wife in Singapore and went to KL to help M. It was no big deal since it was only one weekend. I left on Friday and will be back on Sunday. The SIN-KL-SIN bus trip would cost me about $80.

M and her business partners, PT and K, put me up in a nice hotel. I met with some of their vendors and gave them my opinions on the various vendors' proposal. I guess they trusted me and found my knowledge helpful, I was invited back to help them again.

The second trip was for one week. This time, I stayed with PT and M, in their rented apartment at a very classy area. Oh yeah, I also turned on my mobile phone's roaming service which I've not subscribed since I started my business. Yes, even the $10 per month subscription fee is worth saving. My finances was that tight.

During the second trip, I got to know PT and K much better. I got along with K very well. He is a partiotic Malaysian. Every time when we drove by the Petronas Twin Towers, he'll proudly proclaims, "World-class!". K wasn't pretentious nor was he trying to show-off. I can really feel his genuine enthusiasm of his country's achievement. I had been working alone for too long. I missed the camaraderie of friends and colleagues. I was glad that M was in a team of friends instead like me, working alone. PT is a different character altogether. Compared to K, PT is polished and refine. K is rougher on the edges. When K and PT are together, you'll think PT is the boss due to the way he carries himself. PT exudes extreme confidence (almost on the verge of being cocky) and you can tell that he is used to people listening to him. Surprisingly, K was the major shareholder and thus the CEO of the business set-up. PT was the COO.

There was one night, PT and M brought me to chill in Bangsar, a district in KL. It was very similar to the Holland Village in Singapore. The night scene was pretty exciting to me. Especially since I've not been to Holland V's night scene. Bangsar had lots of beautiful people and cars. PT was smoking cigars and we were drinking red wine at one of his regular pub. We were sitting at the outdoor area. It was a great place for people watching. The whole debonair lifestyle was very seductive to me - an unworldly geek who has not been exposed to the ways of the world. I respected PT. I thought he was a great and successful person. A part of me wished that I was in the team. I won't be so lonely anymore.

During my third trip, I stayed for two weeks. It was an especially difficult trip as my wife just missed sending me off as she was held up at work. She only arrived when the bus was already moving out of the depot. It was heart-wrenching to see her disappointed face from the bus window.

I had to spend another $80 for the bus trip. For all the three trips, I was never paid back for the transportation expenses. Granted, my meals were paid for but the total $240 spent was still difficult for me. I had only a few thousand dollars left in my bank then. My income from my business was very little. In Singapore, there were many weeks when I don't even spend more than $10 in a week. Even though I volunteered to help M, who is my good friend, but I'm not obliged to help K and PT. I didn't tell M how I felt as I didn't want to make things difficult for her, or put her in a spot.

During this trip, something happened too. PT treated me differently. He treated me with less respect. He treated me like his employee instead of his guest. There was once when my advice and idea was totally brushed off. It was like my idea was a fly and he simply swatted it away.

A few days before I was returning home, K and I were waiting in the car while PT and M were running errands, K asked me what I thought of their offer to me, to be part of the team. He said it was only fair that I am part of the team as I've helped them for a while already and they hope that I'll continue to help them. I told K that nothing was mentioned nor offered. K was surprised but quickly added maybe PT had not found an opportune time to discuss with me yet.

On the day when I was about to go back to Singapore, PT still had not broached the topic yet. Instead, he told me that he hope that I can be back in 3 days time. I told him the earliest I can be back is one week later after I've settled my own business which is pending my attention. When it was about time for me to leave the apartment to catch my bus home, he wanted to pass me some work to do when I'm back in Singapore. He tried to burn the files into a CD but the burner was giving him some problem. He kept trying and time was running late. I told him I had to go and suggested mailing the CD to me instead. He insisted that I should wait while he kept trying. I was exasperated. Time was trickling away. I was anxious and getting angry. Finally, when I was about to storm off, the CD was burnt successfully. He risked my missing of the bus home just because he didn't want to mail me the CD?!! Fortuantely, I managed to catch the bus with just 5 minutes to spare.

On my way back, I was thinking on the bus. The whole experience left a very bad aftertaste. I felt cheap and used. PT totally had no respect of me as a human being. I was also confused why the offer was never discussed with me. Did he hope that I'll continue to help them as free labour? There wasn't many more $80 I can cough-out. I also had my own business to run even though it wasn't successful yet. Even though my idea was less ambitious and has a much lesser chance of success, at least it was still mine.

When I reached home, I sent an e-mail to them and told them I quit!

Epilogue: Even though a part of me had wanted to be part of the team, to be part of a camaraderie, but the whole experience let me realise that it is always better to work on your own dream than being part of someone's else dream. It is just not the same. After this incident, I was determined to see my own idea through, whether it succeeds or fails. At least it was my own idea, my own dream. I also learnt that a true man is not measured by his wealth but the true worth of his character.